Thursday, November 6, 2014

Love, Loss and Saying a Final Goodbye

The day my father met our son Ty for the first time!

How odd to think that a few years a go I posted about my mothers ill health and thought the time to say goodbye might be soon. Fast forward a few years, and it is my father who left this earth in a sudden rush, while my mother survives him! In less than 24 hours time I went from hearing my father say "I love you" on my sister's cell phone,  to whispering in his ear that it is is OK to go, when I arrived the following day to be by his side."

So much to process in a rapid fire period of time. 

Dad was not in ill health, per say. Although, he was 84, losing weight, had cataracts and a confused mind at times, despite this he was spry, active and my mothers primary caregiver. My mother has COPD and congestive heart failure, among many other ills that cause her to take a pill regime on a daily basis that is outrageously long and complex. Dad took a handful or so of pills daily, of which a few of them were vitamins.

It would seem that what came to cause Dad to leave this life within 24 hours of time was an abdominal aortic aneurysm that had burst, causing him to lose a tremendous amount of blood. How ironic for this proud, ex-Marine, to die from something his doctor told us has the same effect as a gun shot to the stomach. 

I will indeed miss my father, and will continue to mourn his loss, however I know he lived life on his own terms and made wise choices that made for a very comfortable life. Dad was someone who would not want people to forget him, but he also would not want us to wax on about it endlessly. Ever the Marine, he would feel, accept and move on.

He will be missed, but not forgotten and I have a deep appreciation in my life for his guidance over the years. He became someone I consider to be one of my very best friends after he retired. Living the life of a busy executive and world traveler did not make for companionable conversation in our earlier years.  

I know he was so vastly proud of who I am, and what I have done in my life, and our weekly phone conversations for years mirrored this simple fact. We may not have always agreed, but from him I gained my outspoken directness, business acumen and a keen intellect, which has helped me to weather many a storm and find the courage to be who I need to be in this life.

So, good bye Dad! You will remain in my heart forever and something of you, is a big part of who I am today. Thank you!!!

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